Goyo’s History of Panama

For at least 5,000 years the indigenous tribes in the area of Panama lived happily of the land, rivers and oceans of the tropically lush Panamanian land. Then, along came the Spanish, first landing shortly after the famed Columbus, in 1501. They were convinced that this was a continent, not just more island. Balboa, after whom the Panamanians have named their currency and a beer, made his way across a thick jungle to be the first European to see the Pacific. The feat earned him rights to found a colony very close to where I live on the Caribbean coast, in Darien. He then forged a trail across to the Pacific (though not nearly at the narrowest point), which became the most expedient route for gold and silver, stolen from the Pacific side of South America, to get back to Spain.

It took another 8 years of exploring the area to figure a shorter route, basically where the Canal is built. At which point Balboa’s stock went way down and he was beheaded by a rival. Still, he’s the man in the history books.

For the next 300 or so years, the Spanish continued to what they did best - loot and plunder the continent and bicker among themselves for power and a share of the booty. They got plundered themselves a few times, as well. Notably by Sir Francis Drake and pirate Henry Morgan in the early 1600’s.

In the early 1800’s, Napoleon’s brilliant sneak attack on Spain left it unable to control the area and Panama became independent of the Spanish scourge in 1830, and became part of Bolivar’s Gran Colombia (modern day Colombia, Peru, Venezuela, Bolivia and Ecuador).

Just about that time, an upstart global power called the US of A was starting to take interest in the area. We figured that a railroad across the peninsula would save time and money and get the the 49ers to the gold faster. So, for an undisclosed sum, we bought the right-of-way from Gran Columbia. Seeing how successful (and profitable) the railway was, we figured a water crossing would be even better. But, to our dismay, the Colombians sold the rights to France. When the French couldn’t handle the task, we made another bid, but were turned down.

To show the Colombians just how tough the new kid on the block was, we backed a revolutionary junta that declared its independence from Colombia, which was no match for the mighty US Marines and a few battleships. We promptly recognized the junta as the real government of an independent Panama. And just as promptly, they handed over rights to the canal route. It took the US just ten years to do what the French had failed miserably to do in 12. In 1914, the first ships sailed through an absolute engineering marvel. Along with the canal, we got rights to station our military along the canal for protection, which turned to be mostly protecting against the coups and revolutions in Panama (which, BTW means “many fish” in some native dialect).  Whenever the locals got too uppity, our boys would do whatever they had to and install a “friendly” face in power. But invariably, the friend would either turn or be ousted. (does any of this sound familiar?) This did not endear us to the locals and the “Yanqui Go Home” sentiment was strong, culminating in a student uprising in 1964, that led to the rise of Army General Torrijos and the pressure for Jimmy Carter to give the Canal to Panama.

The most famous US sell-out, of course was Army General Noriega, a former CIA operative, who was colluding with the CIA to run drugs to the US and guns to Central America. Noriega murdered and looted at will and with impunity, until he declared himself president and declared war on the US. Suffice it to say that 26,000 US troops, planes, ships and tanks can bring a lot of heat. And Noriega was out after some asylum shenanigans at the Vatican Embassy. (Can we pick ‘em, or what ??)   Remember how we got him to leave? Heavy metal (Van Halen and Metalica) did the trick. Which proves that my distain for that musical genre is indeed valid. The “unfortunate collateral damage” caused by our (fully justified) invasion only further alienated the locals. (Ringing any bells, here?)

Even after that, we backed one failed administration after another, leaving a trail of corruption and ill-will. The only thing that has saved the country is the new Canal expansion. It has provided absolute full employment and caused a massive population flight from the rural areas to the Emerald City. With all the money sloshing around, Panama also became an international banking center, which is code for an off-shore money washing machine. With a skyline to match any US city and an average income of $14,000, things are good. Except for those in the forgotten rural areas. As one older lady in Ipeti put it, “El gobierno es por los ricos, no por los pobres”.